I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
