FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
