I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
