this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
