ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
