Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have aggressive nipples.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
