"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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