ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
