i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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