i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
