i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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