remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
