im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
