ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
