I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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