there's paper in my vomit.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize