is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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