Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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