Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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