If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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