He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
