My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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