Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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