i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
