What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
