Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
50% drunk capacity currently
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
