Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
