The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
