a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
