her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize