its not stalking. its research.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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