so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
