I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Alive.
So much puke
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
