Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
