She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The Olympian is in my bed
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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