Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Let's get the cat blown out
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
