i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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