The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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