Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
