what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
