so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
