lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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