The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
