AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
