Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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