I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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