I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
