we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
