Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
