hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
