but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
