I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize