she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Randomize
