come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
