too bad you live with your parents still
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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