I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
