I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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