fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
