hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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